I) Predatory Planet

[whose bright idea was it to send Osomatsu on a mission like this? he's absolutely useless when things go haywire, and he's almost gotten himself eaten by a carnivorous plant. twice. and it was the same plant.

now what is he doing? well, osomatsu's found a really nice hot spring, so he's soaking in the water. uh, doesn't he know he's supposed to be working? he needs to worry about getting back to the ship. but]

Everything'll work out. [he says once you've found him and are telling him to get out. or maybe you've decided to hell with everything and want to join him. if you're going to die, it might be nice to do something relaxing first] If we're supposed to live, we'll live!

[feel free to drag him out of the water]

II) Network ID: b1gbrother

[Osomatsu is fiddling with the network on a slow day. it's okay if you mistake him for Karamatsu because he looks exactly like him, but he doesn't talk like him]

Yo! [he finally sits back and waves] Anyone listening out there?

I'm super bored! And I just got here! What kind of things do ya do for fun around here?

III) wildcard

[feel free to make up a better more interesting stupid different scenario!]